Asking for Help

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A few weeks ago we talked about saying no when overcommitted. I’m sure that post was only helpful for me since I’m the only woman in the city of Houston that feels overcommitted or overwhelmed. Only not really.

Saying no is SO hard. But it will free us up to be the woman and mom that we want to be.

But you know what else is hard – but just as needed – as saying no? Saying, “help me.”

help me

Yep, asking for help is hard. Lauren wrote the best post on her journey on accepting help.

And I know me and Lauren aren’t the only ones to think that we can’t ask for help. To think we should be able to do all of this. To think that it’s not even hard stuff we are doing. To think that our moms and their moms and our moms’ moms did all of this without complaint, and in dresses while wearing lipstick, and while preparing a full dinner each and every night. Not to mention the mom next door that some how runs a small business, eats only organic, home schools, AND has sex twice a day – yeah, she never needs help from anyone.

Only she does. She’s either losing her mind or has an army in her corner that you don’t know about.

We can’t do it all. Not even close. Our To Do lists grow, and yet we still have the same 24 hours in a day that’s always been there. So sleep gets cut, and so does eating good food and sex and girls’ nights and bubble baths and reading books and chatting with girlfriends……….

So how do we get more time? How do we magically “do it all” since we are internally charged to accomplish.

You have to ask for help.

Like, have to. Non-negotiable. No one does it all. It’s impossible. Mathematically and scientifically impossible {said the girl who almost didn’t graduate college because of math and science}.

Say it with me – in your head at the very least – “I need to ask for help.”

I’ll be the first to admit I struggle at this. But I will also be the first to admit that I’m so enjoying getting better at this. I’m so grateful I got over my…well, let’s be honest…my pride. Because that’s what kept me from saying, “Help! I need help!”

So today, because I’m an over achiever, is a day that’s proof that I can ask for help :: I just taped the check to the back door for the lawn service to grab when they come mow our lawn, I just sent off a text to have a housekeeper come later this afternoon, and my babysitter should be here any minute so I can go off and get some uninterrupted work done. Oh, and while I’m finishing this post up, my girls are having their breakfast in front of the TV. {Thank you Princess Sophia, we all three love you!}

For so long I never did any of these things. I felt I had something to prove. I felt like if my kids watched more than 1 show a day it meant that I was a horribly lazy mom. {Note :: I still try to keep boundaries on it, but some days that TV is a gift for all of us.} I felt like if I was a stay at home mom that I should be able to find time to clean my own shower and toilet. But I’ve realized that getting a housekeeper to come now that I’m working a little bit just gives me more time with my family. I could do it, but I’d rather spend time with them. And that lawn service was the first thing we added – because plain and simple, we want Daddy as much as we can get him!

I get not everyone has budget for this. We didn’t a couple of years ago. And looking at other moms and trying to figure out how they afford it will lead you no where good.

But I can promise you, with a little creativity you can make it happen.

Maybe a housekeeper is something you need but there isn’t budget for it {and I’d NEVER recommend doing something there isn’t a comfortable budget for}. Well, maybe you just lighten up on your standards. Or enlist your husband to do more around the house.

Maybe you really want, scratch that, you really need your kids to be in Mother’s Day Out. Find another alternative. See if another mom would be willing to trade off. Ask on Facebook if anyone would like to babysit for free. {I did all the time in high school and college.}

I don’t know what area it is in your life that you feel like you just can’t juggle anymore. But I can almost guarantee that it’s not just going to get better. It hardly ever does.

So take some time. Before you X out of this blog post, will you just take a minute or two and answer these questions…

How do I need to ask for help? What do I feel overwhelmed by? Is there an obvious answer? Is there a creative answer? Is there anyone I should ask to give me an unbiased perspective?

Then ask for help.  We are all here for one another.

 

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Becky grew up in Houston, leaving only for college and an internship, but the humidity called her back! And it's a good thing - because shortly after moving home, she met her husband Chris, St. Louis Cardinals fanatic and {wife proclaimed} genius. She stays home with their two (soon-to-be three) girls: Karis, a girly girl and tenacious toddler, and Moriah, smiliest baby alive & Texas Women’s Hospital 10,000th baby in 2012. When she's not in the middle of a tea party, play dates, or potty training, she writes devotions with Sacred Holidays, teaches at prisons and women's ministry events and is a certified MBTI Life Coach {with Orbiting Normal}. She loves hot Houston summers, coffee creamer, dance parties with her family, nail polish, iced tea, reading {although it’s a lot of picture books these days}, and their church family {Bayou City Fellowship}! She would love to connect with you on her personal blog {www.beckykiser.com} or through Twitter {@beckykiser}, Pinterest {@beckyjkiser}, and Facebook.

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