Emotions of a Second Pregnancy

Emotions of a Second Pregnancy

Hi, my name is Mandy…and I’m a worrier. Whew, now that we have that admission out of the way, I can freely share all of my thoughts and emotions, deal? Deal. I’m mom to Amelia {20 months old}, and I’m currently sixteen weeks into my second pregnancy. Yay! Right? Yes, of course, but also…AHHHHH! We’ve always known we wanted at least two children, but whenever that stick read PREGNANT, in big bold capitalized letters for the second time, my stomach dropped a little bit. This is exactly what we wanted and when we wanted it, but there was still a part of me that was a little terrified. After all, this time I know what’s ahead of me.

Don’t get me wrong, motherhood has been the best experience of my life, but it has also been the most challenging. The huge responsibility of raising a child to become a successful adult is not one I take lightly, which probably has a lot to do with all of the new feelings I’m experiencing the second time around. Okay, so let’s break it down between some the thoughts I had during my first pregnancy and then dive into what’s been on my mind lately. Here we go…

First Pregnancy Thoughts and Emotions ::

I was in a very selfish stage of life during my first pregnancy. No surprise there, I was 28 years old, married for seven years, and life was pretty easy. It was all about working and playing, and it was A LOT of fun. While I knew bringing a baby into the world was a huge responsibility, I had no idea what I was really in for. {After all, ignorance is bliss as they say.} Accordingly, most of my thoughts and emotions were a little self-absorbed and surface level. For example… I’m SOOOO tired, I feel fat, I can’t wait to decorate the nursery, I have nothing to wear, nothing fits, I can’t wait to buy baby clothes, I’m hungry…ME ME ME! Looking back on it, while it seems totally normal for someone’s first pregnancy, it kind of makes me want to shake my old self and tell her to get out of her own head and go help others or to do anything more productive than just focusing on Team ME.

Second Pregnancy Thoughts and Emotions ::

This time around, life is completely different. It’s all about working, “wife”ing, and parenting a toddler {which is exhausting, in case you didn’t already know}. The toddler stage is a special mix of pure bliss and shear torture. That being said, of course my thoughts and emotions are different with this pregnancy {which I totally expected}, but what I didn’t expect is how raw and hard to process some of them would be. For example… How will I love another baby, I’m so tired and I feel like a terrible mother because of it, how am I going to do all of this with two kids, will there ever be enough time, how will I love another little girl, Amelia is my little girl, will they be friends, how will we help her adjust, will I resent the new baby for taking time away from my first baby, I’m having another girl…does that mean we want to do this again for a boy, how will we pay for college, and on . . . and on . . . and on . . . {Told ya I was a worrier.}

Thankfully, because of discussions with my friends and reading other people’s fears and confessions and the rawfully honest truths others have shared about trouble bonding with their second baby, I know I’m not alone in these thoughts and feelings. What about you guys? Have you noticed that your emotions have been a little different throughout your second, third, fourth, and even fifth pregnancies? If so, tell us all about it in the comments below, and if any of your thoughts became realities – how you dealt with that. I’m so thankful that motherhood is a journey that I don’t have to go on alone. I find so much comfort from the stories and encouragement other mommies share with me along each step of the way.

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Mandy is a former Army brat born and raised in the great state of Texas. She has an undergraduate degree in Business Management and a Master’s degree in Business Finance from Texas Tech University; she currently works as a Tax Accountant in Downtown Houston. In 2005 Mandy met her husband Travis while visiting her parents in Virginia. He took her breath away and followed her back to Texas as quickly as he could. Travis and Mandy shared seven adventurous years of married life before bringing their daughters into the world, Amelia {July 2013} and Evelyn {Sept 2015}. Mandy loves Jesus, country music, Instagram, the sunshine and all things water -- the beach is her happy place. She writes about her experiences as a working wife and mother at Letters to Amelia. Follow along in Mandy's daily life on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

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