Exploring Enneagram:: What It’s Like To Be A Two

This year, our Houston Moms writers will be giving you first-hand accounts of life behind their Enneagram type. For an introduction to the Enneagram, see this post, and then read on as Katie shares her experience of living as an Enneagram Two. 

From the moment my fellow Houston Moms introduced me to the Enneagram world, I have been hooked. The information and understanding I’ve obtained from learning about my Enneagram type has been so profound that I’ve encouraged most of my close family members and friends to take a quiz so that we could better understand each other.

I’ve have taken this Enneagram quiz several times thinking I may get a different result and nope, I’m still an Enneagram Two. The experts say that you’ll know your Enneagram number when you read the description of it and makes you cringe. Yep, I feel that. I catch myself being embarrassed sometimes to admit that I am a Two. But, I am who I am, and I’ve spent a lot of time accepting and embracing what I have to offer this world. 

Enneagram Twos are popularly known as “The Helpers.” We are warm, nurturing, and enjoy taking care of the people in our lives. Which sometimes can be to our own detriment, because if we don’t set correct boundaries with people, they can suck the life out of us. We can be resentful if you don’t offer us the same love in return that we give to you. We are energetic, fun-loving, and have great senses of humor.

Enneagram Two Hierarchy

A friend of mine recently shared this diagram with me and it describes my needs so well. This is just a small example of how you can better under your Enneagram type. 

  • Me Time – Holy smokes if this ain’t the truth. It’s no surprise to me that this is at the top of my Enneagram hierarchy of needs list. This was one of those pivotal life lesson moments when I became self aware of the fact that I need daily solitude. ESPECIALLY after becoming a mother 6 years ago.
  • Friends and Family – Yep. And it’s definitely part of the reason why the pandemic has been difficult for me in many ways. I love hosting and entertaining in my home. I get a lot of fulfillment by bringing joy to others and loving my people well. And just overall being surrounded by the people that I love. It fills my cup.
  • Music – I’ve written a whole post about how music is a version of therapy for me. I listen to it daily. A direct reflection of whatever mood I’m in. 
  • Journaling – I’m a writer. So, self explanatory. Even as a kid I remember how much I enjoyed writing in my journal, writing poems, etc. It’s always been a source of comfort and self expression for me. 
  • Comfort Items – My husband jokes with me because I have a heavy throw blanket that I love draped over me at night. He calls it my “safety blanket” and it makes me laugh. And anyone who knows me well knows that I love my warm beanie. Yes, I have my comfort items for sure.  

Perks of Being a Enneagram Two

Like with anything, there is always perks and drawbacks. There are so many things that I appreciate and love about being an Enneagram Two. I’m a good friend and good at making them. I have a keen sense and intuition about how others feel most of the time, which makes me a great listener. Relationships mean a lot to me. I love doing things for others and feeling needed. I’m caring and generous. Vulnerability and empathy come naturally to me. 


Drawbacks of Being an Enneagram Two

I’ll admit, some of these I’ve gotten so much healthier with as I’ve aged and gone through therapy. See how I’m already trying to avoid you not liking me because I am a certain way. So very TWO of me.

So here’s the deal:: I want to feel loved, liked, and wanted by the people in my life. I can come across as being needy. Sorry not sorry.

One thing I’ve come to accept is that when I know someone doesn’t like me, I don’t hold onto it or try to prove them otherwise anymore. I used to take it personally. And more than likely if they don’t like me, I’ve probably been trying to force myself to like them too. *Sighs with relief*

Another thing that is difficult for an Enneagram Two is saying “no” and setting boundaries with people. I will say, the unhealthy Katie really struggled with this before. I’ve come a LONG way in this area, and most days I have to quiet the voice in my head that tells me otherwise. But, I’m telling y’all, therapy is a life saver and so is having healthy boundaries.

Because I love doing things for others, I struggle with giving that love back to myself. Another area I have improved so much on.

The Gift of the Enneagram

My major in college was Communication Studies, so it’s no surprise to me that I’ve dived head first into understanding all 9 Enneagram personality types. I love discussing it with my friends and family. It’s such a great tool for us to better understand the inner workings of ourselves and our loved ones, and how we communicate and function with the world.

There is so much nuance with each Enneagram personality type. If you are a lover of Instagram there is so many great people to follow that put out content that will help you to better understand each Enneagram type.

Understanding Enneagrams is an opportunity for us to learn how to offer each other grace. Because when we understand how each other works, we begin to have grace for why people are a certain way. And when we make each other feel seen, understood, and accepted; that is the greatest gift of all.

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Katie is a born and raised Midwesterner. She graduated from college at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in December of 2008. After college she decided to take a leap of faith and moved to Houston in April of 2009. A month later she met her husband David at her apartment complex swimming pool, and I guess you could say the rest is history. She now resides in Katy, TX with her husband David and their two children Avery {December 2014} and Myles {April 2017}, and will be welcoming another little boy this fall. Before kids, Katie had a career working in Commercial Real Estate, but once her daughter was born she figured out quickly that being a stay-at-home mom was something that she was destined to do. Her passions include in no particular order :: drinking coffee, collecting jewelry, fashion, fitness, cooking, politics, and crime/detective related Netflix series. In her free time you can catch her spending time with family and friends, drinking a glass of red wine, watching sports with her husband, trying out the latest hot spot restaurant, traveling, laughing, and not taking life too seriously.


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