I’m Scared of the Grocery Store. {A Tale of Safety}

I am scared to go to the grocery store now. And not just because of the chaos that ensues with kids in tow and those hellacious mini carts. But actually, truly scared – for our safety. I’m not typically a fearful person, but I am shaken.

We have recently had the most gorgeous weather. After indulging in some playground time after school, I had to make the dreaded trip to the store – well, because apparently my family insists on eating three times a day and drinking milk. And momma needed wine. Duh.

We rolled up to our local grocery store at 3 o’clock in the afternoon and actually had a relatively uneventful time shopping {no breakdowns over not getting candy}, and the kiddos were in good spirits. Miracles do happen. As we casually walked out of the store into the parking lot, I reminded the kids to hold on tight to the cart as I always do. Traffic is nuts, and my biggest fear was always an errant child jumping out into the path of an oncoming car. I remember laughing so hard with another older gentleman walking out because my little girl had just exclaimed, “Mommy, I have a moco that is soooo big! Mommy, moco! I mean, booger, whatever!” Ha. No filter on the little ones, and it was kind of endearing to see this little girl, school dress and proper bow in place, be a little crass.

We got to the car, and I popped the trunk of our ever-practical SUV to let the kids scramble in the back and jump over the seats to get buckled. I started to unload the groceries when I felt a presence close behind. I turned and saw a young, white male all up in my space. And by space, I mean literally on the other side of the shopping cart. He bluntly stated that he needed “a couple of quarters” for gas money – that he needed to get home but was on empty. I glanced over behind him and saw another male sitting in a black car right across the way from me, just staring intently. Bells were going off all over the place, but I didn’t know what to do. In my somewhat panicked state, and in an effort to get this dude away from me, I fished into my crossbody purse for my wallet, thinking that I had a couple of dollar bills left from a recent trip out of town. I NEVER carry cash because, hello debit card. As it turns out, I didn’t have dollar bills, only a $10. I hurriedly threw it to him and said, “It IS for gas, right?” He muttered, “Yes, yes.” and turned slowly and strolled away. I hurriedly finished unloading our groceries and jumped in the car to lock the doors. I didn’t even return the cart. Gasp.

As I was sitting there, I just got this sinking feeling. Something wasn’t right. And I have zero clue why I didn’t just get the heck out of dodge, but I sat there, doors locked, and watched him saunter into Kroger, only to return a few minutes later with a paper bag in the shape of a wine bottle. My heart sank. The kids were asking all sorts of questions —  “Mommy, why did he need money?” “Mommy, why are we sitting here?” “Mommy, who was that man?” I didn’t have any answers. I was angry. I felt betrayed by trying to help someone while still protecting my kids as best I could at the time. I kept thinking about the situation I had just been in, and how it could have gone horribly, horribly wrong.  And I felt scared – really, really scared.

We drove home, and while we were driving, my son asked me, “Mommy, what if he is following us?” Gulp. He was wiser than he knew with those words. I continually glanced in my rearview for the short 2 mile drive. No black car. But that pit in my stomach was still there. I put on a brave face and unpacked the groceries and got the kids a snack. And that’s when my knees started shaking and didn’t stop for a good hour. I pounded out a Facebook post on what had just happened, alluding to my fear and anger. I mean, 3:30 p.m. in the afternoon  – in our quiet suburban grocery store parking lot? I live in a bubble. Or maybe not. I called the grocery store, spoke to the manager about our situation and my concerns, and then tried to just get through the rest of the evening.

The next day, a friend of mine posted an eerily similar status for the same grocery store. She was alone with her baby, had two guys harassing her, and remembering my post from the previous day, she immediately pivoted and went back inside where she notified a manager, had that person escort them to her car, and also notified our sheriff’s office. It was then that I read her post, and my knees started shaking again. I decided it was time for me to make a report. Although the guy never touched me or the kids, I felt incredibly threatened and wanted to make sure they had extra patrols, since clearly this was more than a coincidence. I called that afternoon, and they sent a deputy out to our home so I could give my full account. My son was, of course, thrilled and enamored that he had a “real life police officer” in our home. Clearly, I was less than thrilled. As I spoke with the deputy, he shared a few tips with me about what to do in such a situation. Granted, I am not a law enforcement expert, so please don’t take these as gospel. Instead, think about what you would do in such a situation – and hopefully it will protect some of you. Unfortunately, Houston is the capital of human trafficking in the U.S., plus a myriad of other crimes, so we need to be on guard.

1. Be aware :: It’s so easy to be caught up in dealing with the kiddos and trying to unload groceries. Look at your surroundings. Check out who’s around you. According to the deputy, moms with kids are prime targets for crime in parking lots because they are often distracted.
2. Play it smart :: If possible, park as closely as possible to the front of the store and preferably near the cart exchange. I would never risk my children’s lives to return a cart, but I do like to be able to return if possible. Unload your groceries with the kiddos still in the cart, then return it with them and walk back to the car. NEVER leave your kids in the car unattended even for the 45 seconds it takes you to sprint to the return area.
3. Buckle smart :: Once back at the car, put them in the car ALONG WITH YOURSELF. Lock the doors and get them settled from there. Do not buckle and arrange them with the door open. Someone could easily come behind you, and then you are in the most precarious position. I started doing this around Christmas time when we had a rash of burglaries in the area.
4. Don’t pull out your wallet :: HUGE mistake on my part.  Just firmly state that you don’t have any money to give.
5. Watch your back :: When you leave the parking lot, do a quick scan and make sure you don’t have a car trailing you. For me, this is relatively easy because there’s only one lane on my way home from the grocery. If you feel like you are being followed, drive to the closest fire or police station. Better safe than sorry. And of course, call 911 if you feel like you are being targeted. Never go home.
6. Know your neighbors :: The deputy actually introduced this to me. I’m part of several “unofficial” neighborhood groups, and those are great. However, Next Door is a private social network – but the awesome part is our Fort Bend and Harris County sheriff offices routinely check in here. It’s a great place to post about your experiences and also know that they are being observed by those officers as well. And trust me, your neighbors will appreciate you letting them know about scary things happening.

I hate so much that I’ve had to answer so many questions from my little ones. Stranger Danger is a whole other post, but I feel like we lost a bit of innocence that day. It could have been so much worse, and now my momma brain is running on high alert.

How do you keep your kiddos safe in public places? What other tips would you give fellow moms shopping with children? Sound off below!