For the last year and a half, I have trained at the best self-defense school in Houston. People may call what I do a hobby, but I see it more as life skills. Choosing to train in this area of self-defense has been so good for me physically, emotionally and mentally, and it has been one of the best decisions I have made in my life.
I began my training in November 2016 with two goals in mind :: to lose weight and to get healthy. However, the more classes I went to and the more I learned from the instructors, it began opening up a whole new world to me. In addition to the physical changes, I had mental breakthroughs as well. I remember my first class. I stood in the back of the room and tried not to make eye contact with people. I remember being very uncomfortable with the exercises and the defenses, but then something changed that night.
One of the instructors had us do a drill called a Hard and Fast drill. We had to mount a punching pad and use 100% of our energy to throw any combative {which is a punch, palm heel strike, elbow, etc} at the pad. That pad was ‘someone’ who was trying to take my quality of life. ‘Someone’ who had made the decision to harm me. Before we began the drill, he had us close our eyes. He began asking us questions… “Why are you here? Who are you fighting for?”
As I sat there, I realized that while my goals of losing weight and getting healthy were admirable, they were not my WHY. You see, I train for my children. I have four beautiful kids that I love with all my heart and whom I would defend with every fiber of my being. My oldest is living with autism; my second child has anxiety and is extremely emotional; my third has a speech delay and my fourth is only two years old. If we were ever in a dangerous situation, I cannot tell them to RUN or to HIDE. They don’t understand that. My solution would be to FIGHT. To protect those children {and myself} from anyone who has made the conscience decision to harm me or them.
The self-defense community has become my family; a place where I can confront my deepest, darkest fears in a safe environment. It has become a place where my children can grow up to be upstanders; defending those who cannot stand up for themselves. It is worth my time and energy. It is worth my blood, sweat and tears. Self-defense has taught me that I am worth fighting for. That my children are worth fighting for.
I am no longer that girl in the back of the class, trying to avoid people. It helped me find my voice and my ‘inner warrior,’ as one of my instructors would call it. It is my journey and I will continue to press on, to be better, because I am worth it.
What is worth fighting for, for you? What are you doing about it?