Dear Middle Child …
I want you to know that you are loved beyond measure. You are a ray of sunshine and hope…of maturity and practicality…of understanding and acceptance. You my love are one amazing kid. God has big plans for you my munchkin and I can’t wait to see where they take you.
My husband and I are officially outnumbered at 3 in our house. They say that having three children is more stressful than having four:: I am not going to put that theory to the test, so if you’re a mom of four you can let me know of there is any truth to that! I love having three boys. Our home is always busy and at times chaotic with different activities, schoolwork, and just life in general.
It is an interesting dynamic though with my three boys because boy #1 is on the autism spectrum. Boy #3 also has epilepsy and dyslexia. We hit the neurological jackpot in our house! I always have to joke and use humor to get me through the difficult moments, y’all. However, I am very grateful that both boys are doing fairly well with their respective issues…and #2, well he is my straight A kid, no issues, no fuss. He is stuck in the middle in between two brothers that undoubtedly sometimes need a bit of extra attention due to their health and learning differences. And fellow mommas, I try so hard to make sure that each boy gets their own special attention in whatever ways they need it.
But the mommy guilt sometimes rears its ugly head and I ask myself, “Am I doing enough for #2?”, “Am I missing anything?”, “Does he feel left out?”…mommy guilt is real and shows up in so many ways. I want #2 to know just how dear he is to me and our family…he is the glue that holds the G trilogy together, he is the ham in our ham sandwich and the Oreo cream filling. And here’s what I want him to know.
Dear Middle Child …
You spent your first few years of life in therapy waiting rooms. You were nursed, changed, held and loved in those rooms. All while waiting for your older brother to finish the various therapies that come with an autism diagnosis. It was not something you asked for but you had to do it because there was no other option. Luckily, you were a pretty happy, agreeable kid that made friends in those rooms. Thank you for making that time in the waiting rooms a little less stressful.
Dear Middle Child …
Having two brothers with different special needs gives a different perspective on people and the world that is invaluable. I know that right now sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, especially when you occasionally get frustrated with your older brother. But you have kindness and empathy in your heart, in a way that only a special needs brother can have. Because you live it every day.
I know I am probably not alone guilt island. Mommy guilt is a real thing and can be triggered by different things. For me, it is this constant fear that I may be missing something with #2 because for years the other two have had needs that require extra attention. I also know that I am doing the very best that I can raising my three boys and that I need to rewrite this story of guilt that is floating around my head into one of love and value for EACH of my boys, embrace their unique childhood journeys and in turn, embrace the unique parenting opportunities with each one.
Raise your hand if you’re a mom of 3! How is the middle child dynamic for you? I’d love to hear how you embrace middle child parenting!
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