Disclaimer: This comes from a REAL mom! When I joined the Houston Moms Blog team, I signed on to be authentic and true to who I am. This is my real life and everyday struggles. This post is not meant to offend or upset any of my fellow moms out there – but to encourage those who find themselves in a similar place in life.
Three years ago I was a single mom working a job that I LOVED and enjoyed every minute of it. Then I met my knight in shining armor (cheesy, I know), had a baby and then had another baby. Here we are three years later with 3 kids, 2 of which have some not so fun medical issues and trying to make it all work. In the midst of our lives changing, I had this constant in my life that was MY job, MY career, MY place that I could retreat to and do well and find success. Until…the day we decided I was being led to stay at home with my brood. You see, I never saw myself staying at home with my kids. I saw myself in a suit at meetings and living in the world of a working mom. But when the day came that I realized what was best for MY family was for me to stay home, I had to figure out what this looked like for me and who I was going to be in this new role.
This new title I hold has not been an easy adjustment for me and has been a struggle that I cannot always talk about. I mean – when you talk about missing your job in a play group, you get the side eye look. You know the one I’m talking about. The one that’s filled with thoughts like, “What do you mean you never saw yourself at home? There is no greater job.” or “How selfish of you to want to work and not stay with your kids.”
But, this could not be farther from the truth. I love my children with every fiber of my being and they are the reason I made this decision. I set my pride and desires aside, and I stepped into the new job I was called to. But does it make me a bad mom to say I miss my job? I miss the thrill of success in my position. I miss the consistency that I had for so many years. So many moms feel that their calling is to be a stay at home mom, but what about those of us who are seeing this as a whole new journey?
So here I am – a stay at home mom, and I can say that I LOVE being with my children. The blessings I have received in being home are countless, but so were the blessings I received living in my corporate dream. But here is the catcher…in both positions, I still question – am I doing enough? Am I a good mom? Are they better off now or before?
I have realized in this transition of life that we moms are constantly comparing ourselves to others. It is the never-ending mommy’s guilt. Or we have the ‘grass is always greener’ complex. We allow ourselves to believe the lies that say if we stay at home, we are not contributing members of society. But as any stay at home mom would know, our days are FILLED with WORK. And as working moms, we hear that we are judged for not spending enough time with our kids. But in reality, the time we do get with them is always quality.
I have decided that what we need to be telling ourselves is that we are ALL doing the best we can. We are all making the decisions that we feel are best for our OWN families. I can see past it, and I realize that some of us are better moms when we stay home…and some of us are better moms because of the work we do outside of the home.
I mean seriously, aren’t we all a little granola mom, spontaneous mom, scheduled mom, stay at home mom, and working mom all mixed into a bunch of awesomeness? We may have a little more of one than the other, but that is what makes this world a better place. We were all created uniquely to be the perfect moms for OUR OWN children.
So I challenge us as women and mothers to stop believing the lies we hear and start encouraging and embracing the season of mommy hood we find ourselves in. Who’s with me?