My Husband Got a Vasectomy :: Coming to Terms With Being Done

Sometimes I look for two pink lines. 

Sometimes I feel phantom kicks that I hope are real. 

Sometimes I hope that a day late means more than it does. 

But, last September, my husband put the final nail in our family building journey by getting snipped. It was a decision that we both made {at the time} and was probably the best decision for us. After having our second child, I thought I was done. My body definitely needed a break from baby-making and baby-feeding, so I thought I was done. A few months later I questioned that decision and my heart told me “One more…”. I had my IUD removed in the hopes of getting pregnant. Yet, there we were in the {very trustworthy-looking} urologist’s office, with bags of frozen peas at the ready, looking toward the future. I wish I had that firm feeling of “done” that some moms feel. I have always been wishy-washy about this decision. That being said, sometimes I still hope. There’s always that thought in the back of my mind that one of those little buggers will fight its way through. 

My Husband Got a Vasectomy :: Coming to Terms With Being Done | Houston Moms Blog

My husband {on the DONE team} made very logical arguments against more babies, most revolving around money. It’s more affordable for 2 kids. We can easily afford vacations or airfare for 4. Family-packs are always in groups of 4. My parents could easily take the kids for a weekend while we went on a adults-only vacation {3 kids might be a bit more difficult for them}. I could focus on my own goals. No more diapers. No more pumping. No more baby food. No more pre-school payments. And I would be lying if I didn’t love the fact that my kids are becoming more and more independent every day.

But…

No more baby giggles. No more “mama” or “dada”. No more baby snuggles when everyone is still sleeping. I love being a mom and I loved the baby stage. Of course, I was WAY more exhausted, but I was so full of happiness and joy at the thought of this little squish that I made, birthed, and fed. I loved watching my oldest become a big sister and part of me wanted {needed?} that same shift for my youngest. Oh, man, plus the baby clothes!! My ovaries are tugging right now as I type this. 

My Husband Got a Vasectomy :: Coming to Terms With Being Done | Houston Moms Blog
{OMG look how cute!}

My jump from “done” to “not done” continues to go back and forth even though that door is closed {and locked}. Even if we got the call that he was “cleared” I would still have that hope because of how much love I have for my girls. Even if we had another baby {or a dozen babies}, I would still feel that urge to have another one when the chapter was closing. It’s an intense season of life, pregnancy and having babies, one that I really enjoyed. My heart is so full thinking of them as babies, yet I’m so excited for the future that they have. In all honesty, while babies are great, the stage we are in now is my {current} favorite. 

I am able to focus on my own goals, professionally and personally. After dropping the kids off at school today I went to the gym and focused on me for an hour. I had lunch with my husband. I’ve always wanted to be a writer {as succeeded by you over there reading something that I wrote}. In a bit I will go and pick up my children, refreshed and renewed after some much needed peace and quiet. 

I’m also loving this stage of my marriage. When you have newborns your wants and needs {and your partner’s wants and needs} fade way, way, WAYYY down the list, but as they get a bit more independent, they get bumped up a bit more and more. It’s wonderful. We can do date nights or Parent’s Night Outs. I can tell the kiddos to wait while I finish a meal or a conversation with my husband. 

So, I guess I am done and okay with it. {Jennifer, you have to be…}

Plus, when I get that tug, I can always go and take my nephew away for some baby snuggles and cuddles, right? 


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Jennifer is a native outside-the-loop’er growing up and living in the Richmond/Rosenberg area. She has a Bachelors in theology and political science from Texas Lutheran University and a Masters in Liberal Arts from Texas Christian University. She and her husband Greg met in 2010 through Match.com and fell in love on their first date. They married exactly one year later and have fought lovingly and constantly since. They have two amazingly brilliant girls, Kaitlyn {June 2013} and Elizabeth {June 2015} who Jen stays home with during the day. When Jen is not curled in a little ball rocking back and forth with Peppa Pig on in the background, she can be found crafting with her Silhouette and/or binge watching The Office for the millionth time. Jen has an uncanny ability to be comfortable in almost any situation put in front of her, thanks to growing up in politics and on the debate team. Before having kids of her own, she had the opportunity to help other kids through teaching, youth ministry, and generally being a helpful, kind soul. You can check out more about Jen on IG @themommymiddle.

2 COMMENTS

  1. I am right there with you Mama. My pendulum sways back and forth every day. Although I have to say taking finances out of it I am all for another! Husband doesn’t care about any of the “cons” he wants a small baseball team lol.

  2. This was exactly my story! I agreed to the vasectomy but my heart never fully settled with being done. Two adoptions later we have four kids and it is CRAZY! I don’t wish for another anymore, but I’m thankful for the unexpected twist our story took.

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