On Dreaming :: Bright Lights and Chasing Big Things

On Dreaming :: Bright Lights and Chasing Big Things | Houston Moms Blog

I married a rockstar. Hair, natural and long, the reason for some of his best tips. He had a rendition of Rocketman that would break your heart.

Easy on the eyeballs, too. 

He played at local bars. Never paid for his drinks or company. Our own late night star.

But that was years ago; we were 18, newly in love, oblivious to most worldly pains.

Had never even changed a diaper.

On Dreaming :: Bright Lights and Chasing Big Things | Houston Moms Blog

Now, he sings to them. The ones we created. They croon along, warn me not to join in, and feel like part of daddy’s band.

Their stage, our over-Febreezed sofa. And I make sure the beverages are never watered-down like a good bar manager/mother. 

Recently, we went see one of our favorite musicians perform. For me, it was a pretty fantastic time. For him, I suspect it was a bit more. 

As he sang along, I leaned in to him, just to hear his voice blend with theirs. I could close my eyes and be right back in that bar. I have a feeling he was there, too. 

Today, he is a successful consultant, surrounded by computers and clever people. And I know he is proud of himself for everything he has accomplished since those bar days. 

But I also know he wonders. In another life, what would it have been like to stay on that stage? Maybe just one more song? A slow one, this time. 

On Dreaming :: Bright Lights and Chasing Big Things | Houston Moms Blog

He wasn’t as lucky; he married a flighty dreamer. A traveler, ambitious {albeit, lazy} wordsmith, someone yearning for the applause from a well-lit theatre or to see her name on a book spine. 

And I don’t cook. God, I hope he read the small print.

As parents, I think our dreams shift a little while awaiting the birth of our first child. Or maybe they just fall behind our new hopes and wishes for a safe birth and healthy baby. 

It’s really hard to think past that. 

But those original dreams remain, hopefully, politely hiding while we learn our new roles of “mother” and “father” and “boob milk hoarder”. We start wondering how we can do it all; continue to dream AND keep other people alive. And then the baby enters the world and we don’t have a moment to decide whether we can do it all, we aren’t awake enough to coexist with our dreams and our children AND the dirty dishes.

At least, I wasn’t. 

And I think this dilemma exists for all types of mothers; working and stay at home or a bit of both. When I had my first child, I owned a business in New Orleans. When I had my second child, I was a stay-at-home mama living abroad.

Both times, I made the decision to pause. The dreaming could wait. 

On Dreaming :: Bright Lights and Chasing Big Things | Houston Moms Blog

But now, I am starting to see how important it is for my children to know my dreams. And, to see me following mine. 

And I’m remembering what it felt like to dream without fear, just lots of silly hope. I’m remembering because my five year old son wants to be a singing subway driver when he grows up. And a scientist. And, if there’s time, a mechanic. He tells me about future experiments and cars. I tell him, I can’t wait, baby. 

My three year old wants to be a puppy. Or elephant. Depends on the day. 

My kids are young, 3 and 5, but they talk about their big and little dreams with a wildness I crave and a desire I miss. 

So, I’ll encourage my husband to sing more. I doubt he’ll grow out his hair again {but to be fair, that sounds more like one of my dreams}. And settle for being just a groupie. 

And I will write. In front of them. Even for just a moment. And I’ll be proud of whatever makes it on the page. 

Likely, a story about a heroic subway engineer and his sidekick elephant. In honor of the ones I dream bigger for. 

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Britany is currently lost in Houston, but not worried because she brought plenty of snacks. An avid traveler with a wild, squishy heart--she birthed one baby in New Orleans, the other, in Amsterdam. She recently bought a dog, named him Dragon, and brags to strangers about it. In a former life, she owned a wedding planning business; misses the free cake, the most. When she isn’t avoiding cooking AT ALL COSTS, she is trying to squeeze out some good words, hoping to make a living by using her imagination and pen to scare children (the next great kidlit series, they say). She prefers her drinks dirty. Is anxious. Kind of wishes it was Halloween. And will likely hug you a beat too long and make it weird.

3 COMMENTS

  1. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! Literally my husband was joking about starting another band last night {or remembering the one he had before kids}, but I could tell it really wasn’t a joke. He was fishing to see my reaction and whether or not he could rehash that dream. I’m in a time in my life where I want to see my dreams come, meanwhile he’s dreaming also. It’s a great thing for our kids to see us fighting for what we really want in life.

  2. Why do you do this to me? Your writing ALWAYS gives me ALL the feels! I’m either laughing like an idiot or tearing up like I am now. I pray you do see your name on a book spine sometime soon — for your sake, of course but also because (as you say to your kiddos) I can’t wait. It’s going to be soooo good, I know it! Keep chasing those dreams, momma! Your kids aren’t the only ones watching inspired <3

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