One…and I’m Done

When I got married, I knew we would get questions about when we were going to have children. Seven months after our wedding, I was pregnant…and seriously, as soon as I popped out my handsome son, I was immediately {maybe not immediately- it was about 2 months later} asked when I’d have another. I thought that as soon as I had one kid, the questions would stop about having children.  And even though you probably already know where this is going – they have not. Don’t get me wrong. It is certainly nice to have people caring enough and who love us enough to want us to have more children…the only problem is, I don’t think I want anymore children. I’ve had one, and I think I’m done.

I can already hear my future phone ringing after everyone in my family has read the sentences prior to this, so let me explain why I think we are done having kids.


I’m neurotic/anxiety-ridden/an over worrier :: I swear to you, every time some kid at my son’s daycare is sick, he gets it. Every, Single. Time. And every time he gets sick, I don’t sleep. I am sure that is something most moms go through, but I also take any little thing that is wrong and multiply it by a million… He has a sneeze? It’s the flu! He has a rash? He has Hand Foot and Mouth {again}. Some kid at daycare has the stomach bug? He’s getting it immediately for the third time this year. When I feel like I’m getting sick, I know right away that he is going to get it too. My head is crazy enough with one baby – how could I possibly handle it with two? I don’t think I want to know. I shudder at the thought of stomach flu x2. Hi, my name is Michelle, and I am definitely neurotic, anxiety-ridden, and an over worrier.

I’m selfish :: Is it mean to say that I am completely satisfied with the life I have right now at this moment? I am! Everything seems to be running like a well-oiled machine. He’s sleeping all night now, he talks up a storm in words I can understand, him and his daddy have this incredible bond…it’s just a beautiful thing. All of it. Michael is able to take him to daycare every morning, and we alternate picking him up each day. We have an incredible system for everything, including nights where I work late. And speaking of work, I love my job. I work maddening hours sometimes, and I just could not imagine adding another baby into our lives. I just don’t see the life we live now being able to adapt to another baby. Maybe I’m not selfish. But I’m different, and I’m okay with that.

I’m happy :: I feel very complete, more complete than I have ever felt before. Everything feels right just the way it is. I think about it all the time and answer the questions almost just as much. In fact, when I mentioned one time to our family a while back that I thought our son would be our only child, everyone turned around and said “What! Why?” And all I could think about was answering with “Yes, exactly! Why have more? I’m happy!” I’m also about to graduate with my Masters and hope to be a principal in a few short years, and I don’t think I could handle another baby in the midst of all that too.

Could this opinion of mine change about having another baby? Maybe. Not likely, but a small sliver of maybe. Perhaps one day way, way down the line we will be ready, but yes, even as I type this and ask my husband out loud about having another child – we both are shaking our heads no. I support all mothers and give major props to moms who have 2 or more kids {heck, my sister is about to have #3!!} and seriously admire the moms who can juggle it all. I just don’t think I can do that or really want to. We are a family of three, and that is completely okay with me.


  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for writing this!!! Everything you wrote is exactly me! I only have one child, and that is all my husband and I want and people just do not understand. This made me so happy to read this today and know that there are other moms out there ok with having just one!

  2. YES! IMMEDIATELY after Addy was born my doctor was like “ok talk to me when you’re ready for #2”. NOT FUNNY. I used to think that because I came from a 2 kid home that 2 kids was the way to go. Not so much for me. I do not care about the “perils” of an only child nor do I feel the need to “give” my kid a sibling. As a woman, I reserve the right to change my mind at any time, but for now I remember what it was like to have a newborn. #neverforget

  3. What a wonderful post to reflect how we feel when all I read is about having 3+ children! We enjoy traveling and my husband is an officer in the Army which means lots of moving and not being around family and friends. One rambunctious boy that has my entire heart and soul is OK….not typical for a southern Louisiana girl but for us, it works well. Reading this relieved a bit more guilt 🙂 Thank you!

  4. I’m an over-worrier, too. And so is my husband, which leads to helicopter parenting. I love that you are content with your life without feeling the need to have another baby. Not every family has to have more than one child.

    The only reason I would like to have another kid (eventually) is because I grew up as an only child, and I know how lonely it can be. As an adult, I do wish I had a brother or sister to lean on. But, that’s what friends are for 🙂

  5. Absolutely wonderful post. Thank you for writing what sometimes other moms are afraid to say. I couldn’t have said this better myself. Like Bre says above, I am entitled to change my mind if at one point I choose to do so, but for now I am happier than I have ever been.

  6. This is me through and through!!! We are content with just one. I am also an only child. My husband and I are easily on the same page about this and totally at peace with it.

  7. Thanks for your blog post. I agree with you after having my daughter. My husband and I constantly worried about everything. My daughter is 7 years old now and she constantly wants our attention and her teachers tell us, ” if you have another child she would be so different ‘” I guess they are saying she is spoiled. Well, we will see what happens, because she wants a brother got a sister.

  8. I respect your decision and being honest about your feelings. However, my only motherly input to this post is more children actually relieves that firstborn anxiety striken feeling. I know this from experience. So don’t let that one reason alone stop you if you decide to consider more!

  9. Thank you for this post! So glad you are happy! My husband and I have a ten month old and he might be our only. We don’t know if we want another and my life feels complete. My pregnant was hard and life is difficult with work and a child for me due to other chronic illnesses. It is very frustrating when people look at you like you are crazy because you might not have more or when they say your are selfish. I really appreciated reading that I am not alone /


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