Rebuilding Your Faith: It’s OK to Doubt on Easter

 

woman in church pew with familyWhen I was 16 my family broke away from the church I grew up in. This was the church that had taught me everything I believed. The church where Sunday School taught me the books of the Bible in song and where I gave my heart to Jesus. As a youth group teen, I went to all the camps and lock-ins and even met the love of my life at this church.

But there was some unhealthy stuff happening. The church was broken in places and our hearts broke. We literally had to tear ourselves away.

Rebuilding Faith

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my grandmother passed away suddenly. Again, I broke.

She was torn away from us and my faith felt shallow.

I walked through pre and post-partum depression. I lost my faith…well, more of a fairytale kind of faith I had built. A faith that was built on answers I desired, control and #blessings…because what’s the point of believing in something that keeps breaking apart?

I had a lot of doubt mingled with bits and pieces of faith that I had to deconstruct.

Deconstruction has become a trendy word in the Christian world. I think deconstruction is a good thing. It is something all people of faith should have to do at some point in their lives. It’s important to deconstruct. It’s what Jesus did. He said he would tear down the temple and rebuild it in 3 days. And he did.

He tore down every law. He tore down every belief that was rooted in human depravity. He rebuilt truth.

This Easter when many of us may be wondering about faith, perhaps doubting in the midst of deconstruction, you must remember this:

You can not tear down and leave the ruins of destruction, you must rebuild.

Hurt people hurt people. Broken people break. Suffering is inevitable.

Our Foundation Begins with Easter

family poses with easter decorations in yardJesus came, the blind saw and the lame walked. He had compassion. He was God-made man and he dwelt among us, he suffered and he danced and he ate and he laughed. He was without sin and then he went to the cross and died. But…on that third day he rose again; he restored what was broken and redeemed hell and death.

We are all one breath from glory. We are all broken, some of us in the midst of suffering, some of us hurting and afraid. If all those things have caused you to doubt…that’s ok. He has conquered doubt. Doubt doesn’t mean you don’t have faith, it means you haven’t given up hope.

On this Easter remember it’s ok to doubt. It’s ok to deconstruct. It’s ok to wonder what if…you wouldn’t be wondering if you didn’t really believe, and maybe hope, that He truly is the Resurrection and the life.

For some of us hope is all we have, but hope in Jesus is more than enough.

Faith is Simple

All you have to do is believe. It’s that simple. Faith is that simple.

In the midst of unbelief, brokenness or destruction, remember that He can light the darkness. He can mend the brokenhearted, and He can rebuild whatever was and is destroyed.

Wrestle with your faith. Don’t let go. Cling to what is good and Godly.

Jesus can tear down and build up whatever is destroyed or broken or torn in your life. Believe it. Hold tight to what is true. Though countries are at war, though we sometimes wonder what the future will bring, though we are hurting in our own trials, and though things will continue to break in this world, hold tight to one thing: Jesus wins in the end.

Take heart dear one, Jesus can handle your doubt. Don’t just sit in the insecurity and ruins of your doubt, but rest in the one who has overcome the world and allow Him to rebuild.


 

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Andrea is a true Houston native! Other than her college years at Baylor and a few summers with family in Guatemala, she has lived around the Houston area forever and cannot imagine living anywhere else. Especially because of family nearby as built in babysitters, so many friendships built throughout the years, and the great people of this city, Houston is so dear to her heart. In junior high her family moved to the Sugar Land area, but she attended a high school in town and spent as much time as possible at the Galleria in the 90s! After graduating from Baylor University with a degree in Secondary Education, she married her high school sweetheart, Orlando, and they moved to the Richmond area where they have been ever since and where she homeschools their son and 2 daughters, ages 15, 12 & 9. Andrea is very active in Women’s ministry at her church and in her community. She began writing for more therapeutic reasons when the kids were small and soon began writing publicly, remembering her love for writing and realizing the gift and calling that it was in her life. She published her first book, Breathless: Prayers from a Mother Learning to Exhale in 2018, a devotional last year and is currently working on a few new projects. In her down time, Andrea loves alone time, especially because she’s an enneagram 4! She also loves coffee, hanging out with her family and friends, traveling, New York City, musicals, especially Hamilton, fair trade jewelry, and charcuterie boards! You can find her writing at www.andreaportilla.com or follow her on Instagram @dreaportilla and on Facebook.

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