Reflecting on my Pandemic Pregnancy and IVF Journey in 2020

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Reflecting on my Pandemic Pregnancy and IVF Journey in 20202020

It was an interesting year to say the least. As a nation we’ve suffered in so many ways; as a planet we’ve experienced loss, extreme heartache and indescribable anxiety. But under all that pain, there have also been good things happening around us. Some small, unnoticeable, wonderful things and some as obvious as the shining sun in the sky. As 2021 arrives, it’s got me reflecting on the struggles as well as the triumphs I’ve experienced this past year in my life.

Seeing the Good

On one hand, the pandemic took so much away from us. Our freedom, so to speak, our routine, our norm. It’s definitely been hard. But on the other hand, Covid brought my little family closer together. It has brought us joy and so much love. In specific, I’ve been reflecting on my secondary infertility struggles and my IVF journey that began in early 2020, pre-pandemic craziness.
 
2020 started with so much hope and excitement for our family. We had just moved to Houston, and now had access to amazing fertility specialists. We were finally going to start IVF, but the world had other plans and our dreams were slowly crushed as we were told our journey was cancelled until further notice. Not only did our year consist of moving away from family and friends, but for the first time in my life, I was hundreds of miles away from the people I love the most when I needed them the most. I was a mess, I was depressed, and I was lonely.
 
As the months slowly passed, I began to rely on my faith, my husband and my daughter. I began to just see how much we really needed this time to be there for each other. We needed to grow and become this strong little unit and just keep pushing forward, no matter what.

IVF is no Joke

No one can really understand the pain and anxiety caused by infertility unless you’ve been there, you’ve lived it, if it’s a part of you. In my experience I have come across people in my life who can completely relate to the heartbreak of it. We share stories, we support, and we comfort one another when the stress is just too much to bear alone. There’s other people in my life who didn’t know anything about infertility or who can’t relate, but who try to really understand and support me any way they can. And then there are some who just don’t get it, they hear my story but don’t bother to really listen, to understand, who never will, and in reality don’t care to either.

And not to put blame on these people for reacting a specific way; I’m not upset at those who just don’t get it. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, and if they don’t get it then they’ve been spared the pain of it, and for that I’m happy for them. But this past year I’ve very much appreciated relationships and friendships on a whole different level after sharing my struggles with them. I’ve also questioned and moved on from friendships and relationships because of it too. It’s sad, and heartbreaking, but it’s something I had to do for myself to keep my life in order and to keep fighting for my dream to be a mom again.

Things Happen for a Reason 

To be completely honest I feel like 2020 served it’s purpose in making us realize what really truly matters, what’s important and just searching and finding the peace we need in a chaotic time in our lives. Sometimes finding peace is just looking at our inner selves and accepting of things we have no control of, of the constant change, as much as it hurts, but also understanding that it’s out of our hands.
 
I’ve leaned on my faith this year, more so than I have ever done my entire life. I handed all my worries and my biggest fears to God and prayed for his will to take place over my desires. I’ve prayed over my family, my friends, my school, my students, our health, my ivf journey and everything in between. Prayer has helped me come to terms with the craziness of 2020.
 
2020 has definitely been hard on us all and this pandemic has surely put things into perspective. And although I’ve missed my normal life, visiting family, traveling and sightseeing, I am so grateful that this season of hardships has brought some love and new life into my life. I write this as I feel the kicks and flutters from our miracle IVF baby growing in my belly. The single best thing that’s happened to my family and I in 2020, our little pandemic miracle.
 
So although many will remember last year as one of the worst years ever, a year meant for the history books, I will remember the tears of sadness, of anxiety, of fear that turned my life around. Those tears turned to happiness, to amazement, to gratitude. When some couples go through numerous failed IVF cycles before being successful, we were so blessed to get pregnant on our very first try. I can’t take credit for it, I can only say our doctor was heaven sent and with the help of God granted us our miracle.
 
I still have a few more months to go before our precious baby girl arrives but I leave 2020 feeling lucky, blessed and with a belly full of baby and enter 2021 with so much hope and joy in my heart. If we’re lucky, there might not ever be a repeat of 2020 {fingers crossed} but I will always look back and reflect on the miracle of life growing in my belly that was made by lots of love, prayers and science last year in the midst of a pandemic. We’re all making our way into 2021 a little different, so don’t forget to give each other a little grace and compassion. We don’t know everyone’s story, but we can all use a little positivity this new year, let’s start with ourselves.

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Elizabeth is an RGV girl, born and raised, who moved to Houston {January 2020} with her little family. She was a writer for the RGV Moms Blog for years and is now a part of the Houston team. She shares her heart and home with a 5 year old tiny teenager named Isabella Samantha {September 2015}, a baby girl on the way {April 2021} and her loving husband, Samuel. She majored in Public Relations at UT Pan American in Edinburg, Texas, now known as UTRGV. After a few short years working for a hospital’s marketing department after graduation, she found her calling and completed an alternative certification program to begin teaching. She loves working with children and hopes that by being in the classroom, she can make a difference. Elizabeth has been teaching little ones for 13 years now, ranging from 6 year olds to recently 6 month olds. She still finds time to write/blog in her free time as a form of stress reliever. She hopes to publish a SciFi book one day, as her dreams always tend to lean towards the supernatural. Which is why she loves to sleep so much! She enjoys online shopping, thrifting, scrapbooking and binge watching Netflix shows in her pajamas. In the short time she’s been living in Houston she’s come to realize that she HATES the traffic, LOVES the diversity and REALLY misses her momma back home.

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