Seeking Double XX Chromosomes and Wildest Dreams

Seeking Double XX Chromosomes and Wildest Dreams | Houston Moms BlogMy first baby had a penis.

As luck would have it, so did my second baby.

While these babies were relatively cute and fulfilled all the general expectations that one has for babies – my heart longed for a girl baby.

Seeking Double XX Chromosomes and Wildest Dreams | Houston Moms Blog

All the Shades of Pink

In my girl baby dreams, there were frilly dresses and socks with ruffles and soft curly ponytails with matching grosgrain hair bows and all the shades of pink from barely there pastel to bold and beautiful fuchsia. I dreamed of soft spoken words and sweet prissy giggles. Charming wit and unassuming intelligence. Evenings with violin lessons and cheer teams of back handspringing girls or dance classes with toe pointing ballerinas. Bedrooms with canopy beds and dressers with crystal knobs and shaggy pink rugs. Simply put… sugar and spice and everything nice.

Couple my desire for all things feminine with the extremely close relationship I have with my own mother and grandmother – and I couldn’t imagine not having a daughter of my own.

So at thirty-five, I hastily threw caution to the wind and decided to pursue my baby girl dreams. Okay, hastily isn’t exactly accurate. After getting my hopes up about the prospect of professional gender selection procedures – and then realizing that my teacher salary would not allow for such things – I decided to take matters into my own hands and attempt to stack the deck in pursuit of double X chromosomes. So began a very time consuming and tedious process. 

True Story

I created a folder – called Project GAG {GAG being an acronym for Get A Girl}. Sidenote ::  looking back, I wish I would have worked harder to create a more sophisticated title. My failure to do so means that my third child will forever be associated with the act of gagging. Alas, I digress; back on task now. So, I studied. I spent hours perusing the internet in search of theories to assist me in my quest. There were vitamin supplements, restrictive diets, ovulation predictor kits, Chinese gender predictor charts… and a few other theories I will leave to your imagination. *Cue Mission Impossible theme song* I created a spreadsheet compiling the actions I would take… shopping lists, calendars, rules and directions. Failure to complete the appropriate steps might mean the difference between the X and the Y. Indeed, I was committed to my studies and the mission at hand. 

True Story #2

It was in a small exam room, approximately 20 weeks later that a smiling OB/GYN would roll the little thingy-do {100% certain that is not the correct term} around my cold gel filled abdomen and announce to the room, “I see a labia.” I repeated the word in my head. Labia. Labia. Labia. No words had ever brought me such joy. Labia. Labia. Labia. He saw… a labia.

I giggled sweet prissy giggles and immediately began searching the world for all the shades of pink. 

True  Story #3

Things haven’t gone exactly as I planned. The girl baby… is different than the one in my girl baby dreams. She is not all about that pink life. She tolerated bows only until the second grade. Soft-spoken and prissy probably describe someone’s daughter – but it doggone sure ain’t mine. In dance class, she was the child that would playfully stomp her way through tap lessons inspired only by the noise and not the art. She chose theater over orchestra – and basketball and volleyball over dance and cheer. I managed to get the bedroom of my dreams – only because I purchased her furniture well before she was able to veto my selection. She has a quiet confidence {which is perhaps the only characteristic she has that could be labeled as quiet} to contrast the fact she is wildly witty, fiercely opinionated, strong willed and often inconveniently outspoken. She has her mother’s ever present sense of humor and sharp tongue and her dad’s loud mouth and obnoxious laugh.

Thirteen years later – {twenty-one years if we are counting from Kid One} – I have adjusted my thoughts accordingly and accepted the fact that there are just some things I will not be able to control on this journey.  There have been decisions made by each of my children that I did not love. Accordingly, there have been more than a few tantrums thrown when we did not agree. But as time has passed, I’ve grown and learned to manage my emotions – and my tantrums have decreased in frequency. In the end, I would allow them to take the lead in the name of developing independence, self-reliance and personal autonomy.

I’ve accepted that my preferences, wishes and dreams may not be their preferences, wishes and dreams. While they may be children, they come with their own set of qualities and characteristics that are out of my control. And like me, they deserve a right to live out their wildest dreams on their own terms… within reason.

Seeking Double XX Chromosomes and Wildest Dreams | Houston Moms BlogNo Escaping the Balls

I chuckle thinking of the vision I had for my family – prior to actually having this family. Silly woman. At this very moment, I am happily dodging hot jump serves at club volleyball practice for the big mouthed girl baby I dreamed would be a prissy pink tutu wearing toe pointing rhythmically gifted and graceful dancer. She definitely isn’t the girl I thought I wanted, but she is absolutely my wildest dreams. 

Disclaimer :: No boy babies were harmed during the writing of the post. The words contained within are in no way intended to diminish the love I have for my penis babies or the quality of said penis babies. At the time of publication, they are alive and thriving.

Seeking Double XX Chromosomes and Wildest Dreams | Houston Moms Blog


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Joi was born and raised in San Antonio. After a brief pit stop at the University of Texas in Austin, Joi moved to Houston in 1994 and began checking boxes off her never ending to do list. During this time and in no particular order, Joi taught a little bit of everything between first and eighth grades, got married and then divorced, completed grad school, birthed a few babies – Ferris {November 1997}, Warren {December 1999} and Laylah {March 2006}, moved an old lady into her home – Granny {January 1925} started working in Human Resources, served an excessive amount of time (on boards, in booster clubs, team momming) as a crazy sports momma, and learned a lot of life lessons. Joi is known for her unabashed honesty, always present sense of humor and her #TeamTooMuch style of doing everything. On most days, you can find her caught up in her love/hate relationship with politics, feeding her Facebook addiction, or counting the number of days until her last child graduates from high school.


    • Thank you for the compliment and most of all thank you for teaching her. No way she becomes the firecracker she is w out the teachers that have poured into her over the years. <3


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