The Infertility Diaries

Infertility is something that affects so many women across the world.  It’s such a tough subject and can be completely heart wrenching.  This Houston mom is opening up and sharing her infertility experiences while she’s in the midst of it all.  We hope this series connects both moms trying to expand their family as well as women who want to be moms for the first time, and helps them find support through their infertility journey.  While we’re choosing to keep this mom’s journey anonymous, we’ll answer any questions or comments you may have.

Thirteen cycles.  One miscarriage.  Three ultrasounds.  One HSG.  Fourteen vials of blood.  Countless negative pregnancy tests.  Zero fertility treatments so far.

I was diagnosed as “inexplicable infertile” in October.  My fertility specialist presented a few options for treatments, ranging from Clomid to IVF, all of which cost a small fortune.  Since there’s no actual known reason for my infertility, I decided to wait until January before I considered my options.  I’ve heard so many stories about couples showing up pregnant a cycle or two after having the HSG test run, so I thought surely that would happen for me too.  However, as I type this I only have one cycle left before my self-imposed deadline.

I’m one week away from Aunt Flo’s expected arrival date, and quite honestly, I am not reserving much hope for this cycle.  I started this whole journey excited and wasting pregnancy tests before my period arrival date.  I now have an unopened box of First Response tests that I’d purchased months ago sitting in my bathroom cabinet.

I have no idea what direction I’ll go in 2016.  I have trouble justifying the debt that would come with any fertility treatments we choose.  I’ve spent the past couple months trying to consider life without any more children.  I know that if that’s the plan God has for us, we’ll be okay.  However, I’m just not sure we’re done.

If we do opt for fertility treatments, how do we choose which one?  It’s all completely overwhelming, especially considering the amount of money you’re gambling with each round.  Do we bring out the big guns with IVF from the start?  Or do we start small and risk losing money as we work our way to more successful options?  Do we even bother with it at all?

I admit I started this series not only to help out other moms, but also {selfishly} to help myself. I want your advice.

I would love to hear from other moms who’ve suffered from secondary infertility.  How did you decide whether to do treatments and expand your family?  Or how did you decide to consider your family complete as it is?  They say that their is power in numbers, so let’s rally together not just for me…but for all of those fighting this battle alongside me too.


  1. I was in the exact same boat. All the tests were run, and all my REI physician could say was that he didn’t know why I wasn’t getting pregnant. This, of course was my third REI Doctor…the first 2 were so set in their protocols, they wouldn’t veer from their course for someone who didn’t match up exactly…me. So, of course, I was never going to get pregnant. Finally, after numerous tests, 3 IUI’s, 3 REI specialists, 1 egg retrieval, genetic screening, and 2 Embryo transfers, hundreds of injections, patches, and pills, I am so lucky to have 1 healthy baby boy! It’s a long road, but well worth the struggle. There is such a small percentage for success with IUI, I didn’t ever understand why I wasted my time with it, in hindsight, but if you do get pregnant that way- it’s a lot cheaper! Not enough women talk about their fertility battle- you feel so alone during it, but I don’t know any mom/mom-to-be lately that hasn’t gone through their own fertility struggle. Best of luck! I’ll be in your shoes again soon enough…

  2. We were diagnosed with secondary infertility, through the course of 4 years we tried clomid and multiple procedures including one failed IVF…
    What finally gave us our baby boy was a frozen cycle (easier than fresh), in conjunction with acupuncture and viagra suppositories. Best of luck!!

  3. I know this might not be the advice you want, but maybe consider adoption? I do totally understand that it might not be the route you want to go, but it IS an alternative route to add to your family while not putting your body through tons of treatments that may not work.

    Adoption can look different for different people, so it may be worth going learning more about and considering that as an option. Whatever path you decide on, I hope it works out for you!

  4. I am so sorry you’re going through this. My heart hurts for you. My husband and I struggled through 2 years of Clomid / Femara / tests / IUIs, all unsuccessful. I was also diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Our first round of IVF this summer was successful and I’m now pregnant with our little girl. We spent as much money on months of less-invasive treatments as we did on 1 round of IVF. Looking back, I wish we had cut to the chase and done IVF in the beginning. Do you have an RE you love and trust? That’s my best advise: find a doctor and a team you trust 100%. My physician was Dr. Craig Witz at Houston Fertility Institute and I cannot recommend him enough. XOXO

  5. After 6 months of tracking ovulation that never occurred I was diagnosed with PCOS. We did a few IUI’s and then moved to IVF. Between my egg retrieval and transfer, we got pregnant out of nowhere. We now have a baby and plan to use one of our frozen embryos for our next baby.

    My advice: Look at the cost of doing multiple IUI’s vs IVF with your insurance. If you decide to try IUI’s first then decide how many you want to do upfront. The Dr. suggested 4, we did 3, and moved on to IVF. I would also ask your Dr. about the trigger shot should you not be ovulating normally and don’t’ even waste an IUI cycle going home to do the deed once they see you are about to ovulate. Go all out and do the procedure in the office. If you end up doing IVF then consider spending the money to have your embryo’s tested otherwise you could be spending more money for numerous transfers not knowing if your embryos are even viable to begin with. Sorry you are having to go through this too.

  6. We were in the same unfortunate boat it seems like. When we started trying and I mean really trying for a baby, we were sure it’d happen sooner rather than later. Months and months, and low doseages of hormones later, we got pregnant and miscarried at 6 weeks. I think after that happened, the desire to becoming a parent was even stronger. It’s hard being so close and feel like becoming a parent was even farther away. We were given the options of Clomid or going through all the tests with a referral to a infertility specialist. Clomid was our decision because it seemed like the least invasive for us. It worked the first round and we have a 21 month year old. For me, there were little to no side effects, and I felt good throughout the five days I was on Clomid. Good luck to you, it’s so hard and frusterating, lonely and sad, but it gets better! You’ll be a mom in no time!

  7. I don’t think it would hurt to try iui. I had the same unwxplained infertility. I finally got pregnant with iui. We paid out of pocket and it was only $500 in 2009. What was interesring to me is that I always thougjt of my fertile window as being before ovulation, but with iui the doctor monitored my cycle and did the procedure the day after I ovulated. Worth a look 🙂 sorry you are going through this. It is so painful, I know.

  8. Hi there- I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility and had a miscarriage. One year later, still no baby. Husband had high Sperm count and my tubes were open, uterus fine, ovulating like clockwork. The good news for you is that if you had a loss, that means you can probably get pregnant- my issue was actually staying pregnant. My girlfriend thought I might have a thyroid issue and referred me to Dr Jeffrey Brown. I thought there is no way he could tell me anything I did not know- and the fertility docs had checked my thyroid. Sure enough, the tests pointed to three different hormones that were off. After seeing him and being put on the proper medication, I got pregnant right away. What I did not know is thyroid issues are responsible for 25 percent of unexplained infertility issues. Please go get checked out and good luck!


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