You Might Be A Toddler Mom If…

So you blissfully planned your sweet little one’s second birthday. You are officially the mother of a toddler. Welcome to the chaos. Gone are the bottles and onesies, and you have packed up the Boppy, Bumbo, and Jumperoo. You are on to bigger things like spilled sippy cups, backwards clothes, tantrums, and potty training. Right? No matter how much we love their sweet squishy faces, we all know they call it the terrible twos for a reason. Still, they can be so entertaining and fun at this stage.

You Might Be a Toddler Mom If... | Houston Moms Blog

So you might just be a toddler mom if…

  1. You say, “Momma is NOT a jungle gym!” at least 10 times a day – but still end up with bruises in strange places.
  2. The highlight of your day is wiping someone’s bottom because they used the potty instead of a diaper.
  3. You are the only one that can decipher what your child is saying if they use more than 4 words in a sentence. Well at least most of the time.
  4. You just climb in the backseat next to the car seat and sit back for a break while they take at least 5 minutes to climb in and buckle up because they insist that they can “do myself.”
  5. You know the “magic” of the Magic Eraser. Seriously, why do kids insist on coloring on EVERYTHING?
  6. You have read {insert current favorite book} at least 25 times this week. And … it’s only Tuesday.
  7. You know the feeling of your bottom falling asleep because you had to balance precariously on a tiny toddler chair and color pictures of Dory for 20 minutes.
  8. Your idea of a balanced meal is mac and cheese and apple sauce because you are just glad they ate something.
  9. When someone says Marshall, you think of a dog, or Hank, an octopus. Also, you talk about them as if they were real.  “See buddy, Marshall eats his breakfast.”
  10. You know from firsthand experience whether unexpectedly stepping on a Lego Duplo or a tiny elbow to the breast is more painful.
  11. You can properly buckle a carseat like a ninja while your little one throws a tantrum and thrashes around in the seat.
  12. The bottom of your purse is covered in an unbelievably gelatinous blob of goldfish/cheerios/cracker crumbs.
  13. You tell at least 1 white lie per day to prevent a full blown meltdown. “No buddy, the tv can’t play The Wiggles songs anymore today. It’s broken.”
  14. No matter what, you feel like you are constantly covered in a sticky layer of drool, snot, or food.
  15. You are constantly finding stickers stuck to your car/house/laptop bag/purse.
  16. You are permanently in need of a nap, massage, and a huge glass of wine. They are all equally important.

Even if I am constantly exhausted, my toddler never ceases to surprise me with new challenges and rewards. What are your favorite toddler mom moments?

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Laura was born and raised in Houston, Texas. She has a Master’s degree from Texas A&M University and currently works as a part-time tax accountant and full-time mama. She married her high school sweetheart Marcus in 2010 and never looked back as they created a life together. In 2013, at 24 weeks pregnant, her life changed forever when her husband was in a fatal car accident. Now she is rebuilding a life with their sweet son James, who was born in February 2014, and two furry orange monsters, Owen and Jack.


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