Sooooo…this just happened last night at our house.
It made me sick to my stomach to insert the final school picture of my oldest daughter. It made my heart literally ache. I stared at it for at least 20 minutes…remembering what I could about each day and year represented. I texted her daddy a picture of it while he was at work. {Not very nice of me, I know} And the tears came…for BOTH of us.
No one is immune to it. We know it’s coming. We know it will happen. Our kids grow up. It’s a fact of life. But I’m here to tell you that it catches you by surprise and causes all sorts of emotions. And for ME lately, the tears and mama anxiety over my 4 kids have been stirred up a lot. I’m not sure about YOU, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not alone in my fears about my babies growing up. {And judging by Connie’s past post, I think this might even be a common emotion too!}
I’m realizing and learning {…and if you’re a step ahead and can share some ways you cope, please do!} that I have got to see things differently if I’m going to make it through my journey as a mama. Or else I just might end up locked in an insane asylum because the grief has put me under. I kid, I kid. {Well, kinda. Ask my husband – he listens and consoles me daily!} My plan? Well…since my current struggle seems to lie with things that are ending or the ‘LASTS’ in my children’s life {from my oldest daughter’s senior year of school to my youngest daughter no longer crawling but now starting to walk}, I’m choosing to focus on what lies ahead and all of the ‘FIRSTS’ that they will turn into.
New beginnings. New opportunities. New memories. New challenges. New chances to see what God has in store for my kids.
And THAT’S exciting to me!
In the meantime, I will cherish each minute {the good, the bad, and the in-between!} that I’m given with my precious gifts.
And while we’re on the subject – Have you read this book? It’s by one of my all-time favorite authors, Karen Kingsbury. Let me warn you though…if you are anything like me, you may MOST DEFINITELY WILL cry as you read it. It gets me every. single. time.
Cherish those endings, those ‘lasts.’ We don’t get them back. But look ahead, too. Because GOOD things are coming, and they will soon turn into new and exciting ‘firsts.’
Love this post Misty! So true. With the twins being my last babies I have been trying to focus less on the “lasts” and more on all we will be able to do as a family of 6 as they grow. Looks like I am going to need that book ASAP too.
Misty I am feeling the same way lately. It seems like my girls are growing and changing so quickly that I do not have enough time to fully capture each milestone. Thank you for this post!
Great perspective on things! I am constantly thinking about how sad it is each time there is a “last”. But there are always new firsts, you are right. I don’t think I can handle that book – I have a feeling it will make me a crying mess!
Misty! Great perspective! I often find myself wishing things to go faster…hurry up this pregnancy, hurry up this month so the holidays can come, hurry up with life plans…it’s so hard to make myself stop because of the type of person I am…but I’m going to try harder and keep your words in my head!!
Such a wonderful perspective Misty! And is it bad that just the title of that book makes me tear up a bit?!?!?
I just love this post. What an amazing way to look at it – firsts instead of lasts! 🙂 I just get so emotional when Kennedy is growing and learning new things but it’s also so humbling and precious and beautiful when she is having those firsts and learning something new.
What a perfect mindset, Misty! Definitely need this reminder on an almost daily basis as I watch my little ones growing up before my eyes… 🙁
Misty, im so glad I have been around for a few of your firsts. Being we now have just had our “last” baby, I am constantly reminding myself to do everything I want to do with him. I am soaking it all in!