Resolutions. Like most people I’ve always made them. Like many people I often set goals that are unrealistic or unsustainable. For me I have found that reflecting goes much further in recharging my soul for the New Year. I find lessons to be learned, things I did or didn’t do well, and a clearer sense of where I am going because I know so well where I have been. As I worked with M {now a big girl 3 year old as she will tell you} on her resolutions, it set me down the road of reflection. What were the lessons in there for her? She doesn’t need the details but what essence can I impart to her … this is what I came up with.
Three years ago…
I knew, I must have known what was coming and had no idea how to stop it.
Three years ago I grabbed my 8 week old daughter and left our home, not sure what to believe. I know she was exactly 8 weeks old because that was the first day she smiled.
Three years ago I learned the extent of devastation from hidden addictions, lies, and destruction. I learned what my gut the last 6 … maybe 12 months was screaming at me. Something was not right.
To my daughter :: Never doubt your gut.
Two years ago…
I survived the year. She made me survive … she needed me.
Two years ago she also stopped needing me as much. She slept through the night and started becoming her own little person. Yet I worried and did not sleep.
Two years ago I did what all moms do; I took the career hits from missing work for a sick kid that comes down with every known {and several unknown: Hand Foot Mouth you are so the worst) illnesses.
Two years ago I sought help for anxiety and coping skills and got myself back on track for her.
To my daughter :: You are exactly as tough as you need to be, and taking care of YOU matters.
One year ago….
We thrived. She was strong, and we were healthy. She developed ideas and thoughts, and communication became easier.
One year ago we had grown our village, a tribe that was so deep and thick that we could breathe again.
One year ago I decided to be open to life again. To joy. To possibility. In that choice we found more love, honesty, and respect than I could have ever hoped for.
To my daughter :: Life will always go on if you let it. Don’t let past hurts close you off to future gifts.
This year has yet to be written. I hope it is a good one for us all and the lessons of the past can guide our future.
Oh, and if you are wondering what M’s resolutions are….
- Learn to write her name like a big girl.
- Be a good listener … most of the time
- Sleep all night in her big girl bed without sneaking into Mommy’s bed. Unless there is a monster.
- Don’t put sunscreen on all the stuffed animals while Mommy is making dinner. Animals have fur.
Happy New Year!
