The Infertility Diaries {Part 2}

Infertility is something that affects so many women across the world.  It’s such a tough subject and can be completely heart wrenching.  This Houston mom is opening up and sharing her infertility experiences while she’s in the midst of it all.  We hope this series connects both moms trying to expand their family as well as women who want to be moms for the first time, and helps them find support through their infertility journey.  While we’re choosing to keep this mom’s journey anonymous, we’ll answer any questions or comments you may have.

I want to thank everyone who read part one of The Infertility Diaries series and responded.  I read every comment, and I was so touched by the kind words and helpful ideas.  The purpose of this series, however long it lasts, isn’t just to help me.  It’s also to reach out to other moms currently on this path.  So please continue to share your stories and encouragement for them too.

Emotionally, I’m doing better this month than I have in a while.  Last January, I suffered a miscarriage.  I spent the first part of the year grieving and hoping for another pregnancy.  Midyear, the realization that I still wasn’t pregnant almost paralyzed me at times.  I let the anxiety overcome me, and the stress took over.  Toward the end of the year, I started to take control by seeing doctors that could help with my fertility issues.

This month, I genuinely felt good.

I spent a lot of December considering whether I could consider our family complete as is.  I’m still not at peace with that idea, so I began seeing a reproductive endocrinologist that was recommended by a good friend.  I feel his gradual approach is better for my situation rather than jumping straight to fertility treatments.  I would rather work toward finding the root of the problem and treat that than tossing money at IUI or IVF.  My health insurance does not cover any fertility treatments, so the more we can learn without throwing thousands of dollars at the issue, the better.

I actually knew I wouldn’t be pregnant this month, and I am totally fine with that.  I think there’s a peace that comes with knowing for sure and not having to analyze every symptom.  Are my aching breasts from PMS or a sign of an early pregnancy?  Is that nausea from something I ate or morning sickness?  It is easy to drive yourself mad going through the list of each possible symptom every month.

I hope next month I can jump on here, announce my pregnancy, then wrap this series up.  But for now, I’m choosing to see the good in this situation.  I am appreciating my family as we are, without another person added.  I am working to focus on other aspects of my life.  And I’m thankful for the friendships that have formed through this journey.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here