Meghan Markle and Lies We’ve Been Told

Meghan Markle and Lies We've Been ToldMan meets woman. Man and woman fall in love. Man and woman marry and ride off happily into the sunset.

Then, man and woman move into a beautiful space where their needs are met, but their lives are controlled and are negatively impacted by the rules of upper management and the hatred of those outside that beautiful space.

Attempts to improve conditions go unaddressed. Quality of life declines. Man and woman take control of their own destiny and change their path for the health and benefit of their family.

I don’t see the problem. Life. Liberty. The Pursuit of Happiness. I thought we were all in favor of these ideals – for everyone. But I see exclusions do apply. And the lies encouraging these exclusions… persist.

The Lies We’ve Been Told

Wealthy individuals living in seemingly idyllic circumstances are immune from personal struggles and mental illness.

Dollar bills are the cure for depression and suicidal ideation. A fat bank account guarantees a life filled with all the happy things and magically eliminates all the ugly ones.

But remember… Robin Williams and Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Now add Meghan Markle. History shows us that her mental health illness is not far-fetched. Disavowing the struggles of someone crying out not only worsens their illness, it perpetuates the stigma of asking for help.

Experiences you have never participated in, witnessed personally or do not reinforce what you believe – do not exist.

Come on now. Really. Just because it hasn’t happened to you does not mean it isn’t true. Empathy and the ability to consider the experiences of others  are not high-level concepts. The point is, if you are unable to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, at least give them the benefit of the doubt when they show you their swollen feet and open blisters.

Racism is a thing of the past.

The events of the last year have shown us differently. It’s on video. Often. And those are the blatant examples. The more subtle forms of racism still pervade the daily existence of people of color. To think that the world of Windsor is immune from those behaviors is naïve. Thinking of just one headline that made it around the world – Meghan Markle – Straight Outta Compton; but the thing is – she was born in Canoga Park.

If we stop talking about racism – it will cease to exist.

This statement exists only to pacify the uncomfortable majority. I don’t know much – but I can tell you one thing with 100% certainty. People of color do not bring attention to racism because we like it and wish to share our happy experiences with discrimination. We do not make these things up in some wicked deep-seated desire to shame others. Without awareness, nothing changes. Had behaviors of the past not ever been publicized and challenged, my kids and I might be drinking from the “colored” water fountain today.

Fame and fortune entitles the public to invade all aspects of your life.

Once you reach that level, you are no longer entitled to the protections afforded other… human beings. Just because this belief has been normalized in society, it doesn’t make it right. Prince Harry lost his mother to a world that felt entitled to creep its way into every aspect of her life. Is it so hard to imagine that he would go to the ends of the Earth to protect his wife and child? What wouldn’t you do to protect your own family?

It’s Not About Them, It’s About Us

This isn’t a defense of Prince Harry or Meghan Markle. I don’t know them like that. It really is about humanity and the way we handle our fellow humans. I watched the world begin to rip her to shreds as soon as they became an item. I tried hard to determine the reason for all the hatred as she attempted to navigate her way through her new life. I found that {despite similar activities from her beloved sister in law} Meghan is despised for the way she cradled her baby bump and for eating avocado toast.

These are just my observations. I’m regular by every standard. Barring a lottery win, I’ll likely never be wealthy. Or an actress. Or married to a prince. Or be trailed by paparazzi. That lifestyle will remain foreign to me. And despite that, empathy for the pair, and even more so for Meghan, isn’t the least bit difficult.


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Joi was born and raised in San Antonio. After a brief pit stop at the University of Texas in Austin, Joi moved to Houston in 1994 and began checking boxes off her never ending to do list. During this time and in no particular order, Joi taught a little bit of everything between first and eighth grades, got married and then divorced, completed grad school, birthed a few babies – Ferris {November 1997}, Warren {December 1999} and Laylah {March 2006}, moved an old lady into her home – Granny {January 1925} started working in Human Resources, served an excessive amount of time (on boards, in booster clubs, team momming) as a crazy sports momma, and learned a lot of life lessons. Joi is known for her unabashed honesty, always present sense of humor and her #TeamTooMuch style of doing everything. On most days, you can find her caught up in her love/hate relationship with politics, feeding her Facebook addiction, or counting the number of days until her last child graduates from high school.

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