My Kid Said WHAT?!

One of the most exciting milestones of parenting is the baby’s first words.  In our case, “mama” took that honor.  But the words that quickly start pouring out after those first two syllables have been my absolute favorite.  I mean, my almost three year old recently claimed that JJ Watt is building her a castle. {I’d actually like to believe that one’s true.  As long as it comes with a housekeeper.  Who really wants to clean all that space?}

Fairly soon after that, we were sitting in the doctor’s office, and she busts out with “Oh mommy, are those your boobies?”  Later, at home, she announced, “My daddy poopies in the back yard.”  {To my knowledge, that’s totally not true.}  But this inspired me to compile a list of the best kids quotes I could find.  These came from fellow HBM contributors, my friends and family, and from my blog Facebook page – and they’re pure gold!

Hilarious Kids QuotesPhoto Credit :: Karen Jacot Photography

“GPa you are really tall! I bet your peanut is really really really tall too!” {BTW…Peanut = Penis} – Karis, age 4

“Papa, you can’t come in here cause you might see my sagina!” – Maddy, age 2

{After walking in on her daddy in the shower} “MOMMY!!! I see daddy’s tail.” – Caroline, age 2

“I am literally hungry.” – Meghan, age 4

Tyrone {Addy’s Daddy} :: “Addy, you know who cares? Nobody.”
Addy {age 3} :: “YESbody!”

{When nursing a new baby and talking about how a mom’s body makes milk.} “Yea, boys don’t do that. Ours {nipples} just make energy.” – Wyatt, age 3

“Mom, I need to eat my boogers so they can get back into my nose to make more.” – Hayes, age 3 {Especially random since he is NOT a booger eater.}

Arie {age 6} thought she was using chapstick, but really it was lip plumper… “Ahhhh, it feels like alligators are biting my lips.”

Kennedy {age 3} says that her favorite movie is “Star Whores.” {It’s really Star Wars…just for the record.}

“I wanna go through the ho sto’.” {Translation :: I want to go through the whole store.} – Rory, age 4

“Paw Paw, put some clothes on…no one wants to see your groceries!” – Anonymous, age 4

“I can’t do the science experiment because the magnets we are using will turn off my pacemaker.” – Derek, age 8

{When 8 months pregnant with the last baby…and a broken ankle to boot.}  “GREAT! Now you have TWO things wrong with you!!!” – Marley, age 6

“Are you done with the pregnant look?” – Dylan, age 6 {Marley’s twin}

“You have big boobies, and I have little boobies.” – Emily, age 3

“I don’t want to grow up and kiss girls. I just want to drive a big truck.” – Cagie, age 5

“I want to grow up and have big boobies like daddy!” – Brooklyn, age 4

Raquel {age 9} :: “Don’t you trust your own sister?”
Arthur {age 6} :: “No, I don’t trust kids.”
R :: “But you’re a kid.”
A :: “I know. I don’t trust myself.”

{After having a huge wad of ear wax removed.} “What? What is it mommy? A chocolate m&m?” – Meryk, age 4

“Mom, I have hair on my legs. Is it because I’m becoming a man?” – Mikah, age 3

“Gross!  It smells like boogies in here!” – Skeeter, age 2

Chime in! What are your favorite kid’s quotes?

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Heather graduated from Houston Baptist University where she met {and later married} her husband Ben. They moved away from the city so this small town girl could feel at home, but still have access to the beach and to all H-Town has to offer. She's a full-time working mom to their daughter {March 2012} & son {September 2016} and often blogs about her experiences with severe preeclampsia and the NICU. She loves sangria, a good book, Texas Country music...and her three fur babies. Connect with Heather on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

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