What’s Your “Go-To”?
When you are getting ready to start potty training your toddler, what’s your first step? Google it? Social Media? A quick topical search on Houston Moms? When I was a young mother, as best as I can remember, (it is hard to recall life before the internet) I had three resources: books, television, and my family or friends. Mostly, I relied on my family and friends. And even though my mother and sisters didn’t live close, they were only a phone call away. Today friends and family are even easier to reach via text, messenger, FaceTime or Zoom. But for many mommas, the internet is the “go-to” resource for life’s questions including those related to parenting. An incredible resource, the internet has undoubtedly changed the landscape of our lives. Something I have appreciated and applauded until now.
Now I am a grandma, a nana to be more specific. My son-in-law and daughter have given me the most beautiful little boy to dote on and enjoy. As my daughter began the journey into motherhood and I into nanahood I subconsciously dreamed of being a source of wisdom and knowledge. I anticipated all the hard work of my own parenting would translate into valuable insight and experience garnering me a place of respect. I expected my daughter to need and want Nana’s advice.
Surprisingly I have found my knowledge to be outdated, incomplete, or not fully evolved.
Influencers vs. Nana’s Advice
I admit I do get some questions from my daughter, but my daughter, like most mothers today, can become an expert on any parenting topic with a computer/phone and little bit of down time. Need help with sleep training your baby? Check out @takingcarababies. What about discipline? Some of the best advice can be found @biglittlefeelings. And, when you’re ready to start your baby on solids, be sure to check out @solidstarts.
I have conceded. But it wasn’t without a fight. At first, I tried to add a few tips here and there. Arrogantly, I thought surely these young influencers would miss a nugget or two. When my daughter shared how she had learned white noise and black-out curtains would help her baby sleep, I added that setting up routines to serve as cues to naptime is helpful as well, only to be reassured she’d read about that as well.
The Influence of Internet
Could information technology be subtly changing relational dynamics? Those calls to my sisters and mother were a lifeline for me when I felt lost and unsure as a young mother. Naïve and inexperienced I instinctively relied on the older and more experienced to help me navigate life’s challenges. Has the power of the internet bridled the fears of the insecure? Perhaps young mothers today feel more empowered and confident, and consequently, they are less vulnerable and reliant on others.
I’m thankful my daughter has so much information at her fingertips that enables her to be a better mother. It isn’t the information I resent, nor the source of the information. It’s the missed opportunity I grieve just a bit. There is joy in sharing lessons learned through experience. The passing of traditions, knowledge, history from one generation to the next is the fabric of life. More importantly, a bond develops when support is given and received.
The Need for Relational Bonds
That bond is powerful and supportive of mental health. We all long to be needed and feel loved when supported. The internet’s unlimited ability to provide information has indirectly impacted generational relationships. I never even considered this possibility until I experienced it firsthand.
Ultimately, I know Instagram, Facebook and Google cannot replace the support and comfort of a mother’s embrace or the satisfaction of her listening ear. So, for now, I’ll assume my position in relation to the internet and be a sounding board, and a voice of reason. And, when Nana’s advice is trumped, I’ll find comfort in knowing only Nana can be an instababysitter!
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