You Might Be a Mom If…

When I was younger, I would think my mom was always a little…distracted.  I’d ask her questions, and she would zone out.  She’d call stores by the wrong name.  Forget the name of popular actors.  Just never all the way there.

Sorry, mom!

The more I speak to my mom friends in real life and online, I realize there is a momdemic everywhere of scattered thoughts and ill prepared trips.  No matter how or when you became a mom, you learn that we are all pretty much the same!

You Might Be a Mom If

YOU MIGHT BE A MOM IF…

You all too often walk into a room for something…but quickly forget why you went there in the first place.

Especially the kitchen.

Especially the fridge.

You find that Disney/Nick is still on waaay after the kids went to bed because you just have to know how the episode ends.

While digging for your wallet in your purse, you find crumbled Goldfish crackers and Ninja Turtle action figures.

Math homework makes you cuss, all over again.

Life altering events? No problem.  Someone forgets to wash the pan you needed for dinner? DAY RUINED.

When you have threatened to end meal service because everyone is complaining about their food.  Like strike from cooking for the rest.of.your.life.

You realize car A/C vents are perfect for cooling piping hot chicken nuggets.  Who makes kids meals that hot?!

You are back to the days of sniffing clothes and picking whatever is “clean enough.”

You ration the kid’s candy stash, always keeping the good stuff for yourself.

You are genuinely upset when nobody understands who “that guy who was in that thing with the other guy from E.R…the one with the hair and the stuff” is.

The ten minutes before you are set to leave the house for any event are the most chaotic of your life.

You always smell pee.  Someone around you has peed on or near something – you’re certain of it.

You have a running inventory of every pantry item with photographic memory of where the item is actually located.  A skill you did not know was required until a person frantically calls you looking for medicine or more importantly, cookies.

You laugh, like a genuine gut buster, when people without kids tell you what they won’t let fly when they do have kids.  Fools.

Teachers seem incredibly young.

When people ask you what kind of music you listen to, you have to fight the instinct to say Kidz Bop or the Frozen soundtrack.

And since when did grocery stores start playing all the best songs ever?  How do I know the songs playing in every store and restaurant?!

I’m a mom, so I’m sure I forgot something.  Let’s keep this list going in the comments below!

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Breonna was born and raised in Houston, Texas. She is recently married to Tyrone, a graphic designer. They currently reside on the West Side of this great city. A big fan of movies, books, photography, and Starbucks, she currently finds herself knee-deep in the throes of being a mommy to Addy {Feb 2011}. Breonna spends the typical 9-5 doing yadda yadda yadda at her job {yes, it’s that nondescript and uninteresting}. She started blogging as a way to do movie reviews, but that gave way to pregnancy blogging. She eventually landed her own space of the internet on BreWrites as well as on Twitter and Instagram {@brewrites} where she talks about everything from the sassiness of her child, to the most recent concert tickets she got her hands on, to the occasional piece of short fiction.

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